Here you'll find lots of the curious things my friends have said!
Curious Year 11s with weight problems now seem fascinated with me. Other fascinations include incest and people who he deems love their mothers. Anally-oriented fetishes also rate highly in his oral diarrhoea, though alas he clearly hasnt considered slimming to use up his free time as of yet. Also needs things repeated to him mannnny times in lessons, I can only asume his aural capabilities are offset by the weight problems...wave form properties of undulating stomach, possibly? More information as I get it, rest assured, this rotund 'little' boy (I use the term loosely)has plagued me for years.
Saying that though, since its original conception, the phenomenon has spread to the younger years, now they all get fascinated with me! Im thinking its my pheramones. *shrug*

Nicola Newton:
Gary: Do you challenge manliness?
Nicola: I do not challenge manliness!
I let it roll all over me and squash me flat!
...Bit like a steamroller...

Samantha Unsworth:
(On her recent P2 A Level Maths exam:)
Samantha: How did it go? To quote from you in your last Maths exam before you quit, One word. Hindenburg.

Rose Wood:
(On explaining what a cerebral cortex is)
Its the cerebral vortex...Big hole in the middle of your head where all the information gets sucked in...
Samantha: I have one of those!

Rose: I am Rose! Please Insert Girder!


Jess from internet-land:
Jess: We all extended from two humans, which makes us all inbred... and when Noah took all the animals on his ark he only took two of each kind, so they are all inbred too!
Gary: Well, only if you believe in the literal translation of the bible, which i do not!
Jess: Ah ok.
I'm probably inbred anyway...


Gary, in re: to feathers for his cosplay costume:
Gary: Are there any places near you where you can get feathers? REAL ones?
Jess: Not really....
Jess: Lots of Hay though.
Gary: Gee...Thanks, Jess...?!

Gary and Jess:

Jess and Gary in the bar at 'Namicon8 drinking whisky, Gary returns with drinks
Gary: "You know you said you didnt like Whisky? Well neither do I. Hate the stuff"
*Hands out drink to Jess and keeps one*
Jess: "What is it?"
Gary: "...Whisky! I thought I'd buy something cheap that neither of us would like! Good idea, eh?"
Jess: "..."
*They both down them in unison*
Jess: "...Mmmn...gotta love that curious internal bleeding feel..."*cough*
Gary: "Yeh...internal bleeding...yum..."
*winces badly*

At Minami in the dealer's room:
Jess and Gary approach a stall...
Gary (Too loudly): "Wooooh! Look at that cute little girl flannel! I can take it home and rub it all over my body!"
Jess: "...." *blinks*
Seller: "...*blink*br>
Jess: "She's not gonna want to sell you that now..."

In re: to a particular sweetener
Gary: "Contains aspartamine? What the hells that"?
Jess: "Um...doesnt that cause birth defects in children?"
Gary then tips it into his drink
Gary: "Well, im safe from that side effect, right"?
Gary: "...I've already BEEN born, so no chance of me having birth defects!"
Jess: "...Um...I dont think thats what it meant..."

In re: to the Rammstein concert Gary's attending soon:
Gary: if i knew they would sing it [Hallelujah] id go dressed as a choirboy, but id DEFFINATLY get raped then.(being raped is my MASS paranoia about going to places other than cornwall. when EVER i go visiting im always paranoid about getting raped)
Gary: its kinda debilitating, really.
Jess: awww honey
Jess: :S
Gary: and Rammstein are of course going to attract huge burly men, so you know what im doing to protect myself?
Gary: im taking a protector with me!! Nicola!
Jess: It's much more likely to happen to girls if that's any comfort to you
Gary: nah, im a prettyboy. they'd LOVE a piece of my trim ass.
Gary: pretty lil cute boys always get buggered first.
Jess: right!
Gary: its law of the jungle.
Jess: ok... you've really thought this out haven't you!
Gary: "bugger the cute one first" its an unwritten law.

Re: Discussing Cornish dialect, Gary being slightly indignant:

Gary: ...what would you call it if you left a pan on the cooker, and it sent smoke throughout the house then?
Gary: (that sounded much more challenging and indignant than it was supposed to)
Jess: um... smokey?
Gary: but smokes opaque?
Gary: you can kinda see it and its got some sort of substance?
Gary: smeech doesn't have much visual stuff. its just...painful as hell on your eyes...?
Jess: acrid pan smog?
Gary: ...acrid pan smog?!
Gary: lmfao!
Jess: I dunno...
Jess: Ok you have a good cornish word for it! you win!
Gary: lol!

Gary: now that you mention it, acrid pan smog sounds better!

Jess and Gary on the phone talking about Gary's Job at the Egg Farm:
Gary: "Yeah... by the end of the day after packing about 500 boxes of eggs your hands get really sore, I mean mine were all bleeding"
Jess: "Really?"
Gary: "Yeah"
Jess: "I never realised Eggs were so abrasive..."
Gary: "...It was the crates...."
Jess: "ohhh..."

Re: English Lesson. A Level English Literature with my crazy teacher, Mrs. Rogers
Mrs Rogers: So the poet has written about a Thrush. this is, in itself, quite important. What connotation do you get with the Thrush?
*Gary blinks*
Mrs Rogers: ...I know what connotation *I* get from Thrush...
*Gary looks visibly distraught and whimpers slightly*
Mrs Rogers: Aww...I'm sorry Gary...but think, you'll miss these lessons when you leave, eh!

Gary and Racheal at Tustins party:
*Rach reads from bottle shes holding*
Rach: "The exciting Vodka!"
Gary: I dont feel very excited by it...
Gary: Maybe you have to rub yourself with it first...?
*takes bottle and rubs it against his crotch*
*is watched doing this from accross the room by a girl he doesnt know*
*looks up at girl*
Gary: Um...erm...its not what it looks like...!!

Gary: Not everything will work, no matter how you want it to. Keep an eye out for when your fighting a futile battle. And also, you WONT go blind because of it, im living proof. *wipes glasses nervously* Take care of yourselves, and each other! :oS

Gary: "Love is hard when she who is closest is also furthest away."

Words from Roses week long party:
Daniel: "Cunnilingus...? Sounds like some Irish Airline..."

Re: Ben smacking Gary with a whip. Gary catches the whip and taps Ben with it instead
Ben: "Agh! Your not allowed to flagelate the flagelator!!"

Re: Racheal, waving an inflatable baloon phallus over / poking into our Monopoly game:
Racheal: "Heh! I'm boning London!"

Gary: "A bloke had a sign on his gate saying "Stay out, pit bull with AIDS" Now how'd you give a pitbull AIDS, other than exspraculating on it?!"

DELI RELATED QUEERNESS:
Gary, re: a platter of pork with sage and onion stuffing
Gary: mmnnn, Rach, look at that...dont you just want to grab it, stuff it into your mouth and mnnnn?"
*another worker of co-op gives me the filthiest look EVER*
Gary: Noo, the meat!...noo, i didnt...i dont...agghhh!..."
*bluuuuuuush*

Your probably guessing I like dogs, right? Well, you'd be wrong. I'm not such a huge fan of them. If, however, you ARE, then by all means go here! 'Dog lovers R Us!'

My New CV!

Gary Tidmarsh
Personal Information Nationality: English
Date of Birth: 15.10.83
Place of Birth: Plymouth

Courses Followed Years 7 – 9 Full National Curriculum Course
Years 10 – 11 10 GCSE Subject Courses
Years 12 – 14 Advanced Subsidiary / Advanced Level Courses
Awards received GCSE English Literature Grade ‘A’
GCSE Integrated Science Grade ‘B’
GCSE Mathematics Grade ‘C’
GCSE Electronics Grade ‘C’
GCSE Art Painting and Drawing Grade ‘C’
GCSE Geography Grade ‘C’
GCSE French Grade ‘C’
GCSE German Grade ‘C’
A / S Level Science for Public Awareness Grade ‘D’
A Level Media Studies Grade B’
A Level Psychology Grade ‘C’
A Level English Literature Grade ‘D’

Interests and activities I enjoy authority and leadership responsibilities, and for this reason I was selected for the prestigious award of ‘Prefect Team Co-ordinator’ during my A Level Studies. I enjoy reading both classic and contempory literature, particularly novelists such as Philip Pullman and Jeanette Winterson. I also participate in expressive arts such as singing and pantomime work for which I’ve received awards, as well as drawing and walking in the copses near my home.